posted on December 13, 2005 15:33
PADRES Score Major Free Agent Victory
The Padres are looking forward to adding Ted's grit to the lineup
Ted "Costa Rica" Spilseth set to be 2006 PADRE
In a move that shocked the entire wiffle community, the PADRES of the Hopkins NL division signed one of the most coveted free agents of the off-season. Earlier today, Ted "Costa Rica" Spilseth inked a one year deal rumored to be the most lucrative in league history.
At an impromptu press conference, team General Manager Bryan "Shirls" Shirley said: "Yes, this move is going to put us way over budget, but winning comes at a price. The PADRES have never been ones to step down from a challenge, with this move we are confident that we will finally win the Hopkins NL and represent our city in the World Series." When asked about the riskiness of signing someone to an enormous contract, Shirley said "What risk? This guy is a sure thing, have you seen his numbers?"
This move has even greater meaning for team closer Jim "Westy" West who has known Ted since eighth grade. "This is a dream come true, when Ted and I were growing up we would pretend that we were in the big leagues representing storied franchises, now we get our chance…again."
Ted and Jim played on the Brewers for the second half of the 2004 season but the lure of a big-time contract with the Padres, was too much for Jim who left the team for greener pastures. "Leaving the Brewers was hard for me because I knew I was leaving behind a good friend and teammate, though this year with the Padres was magical, something was always missing. I feel like we are a complete team again."
The PADRES can also use Ted's bat and arm as they start their campaign for the World Series cup. Ted has 29 career homeruns in 207 at bats with an on base percentage well over .400. Ted's pitching was just as impressive, finishing second in the city with a 1.68 ERA and a league leading .95 BB/6 innings rate, it is clear Ted has a lot of control both on the mound at the plate. "This is exactly what our team needs, and with the new 5 balls for a walk rule, we are planning on seeing even greater things from Ted this year" Jim cooed.
In closing remarks, Jim said "Ted is going to save this team, I could not be happier." Things are looking up for the 2006 PADRES, looking up indeed.