Farm hands, waiting for a cup of coffee...

A chance to go to the show...

Isn't such lingo "made" for wiffle activities?  The possibilities are just about endless with some 240 + clubs out there.  Minor league logos and mascots are meant for wiffleball.  The minors, like wiffles, are built on shtick.  With which team would you affiliate?  Here are some possible matches for today's HRL squads.



A's:  Montgomery Biscuits

Lovable dudes, just like a good ol'-fashioned biscuit (complete with a pat 'o butter mouth).



ASTROS:  West Tenn Diamond Jaxx 

Word is, they like moustaches and picks. 



BLUE JAYS:  Grand Prairie AirHogs

Self-explanatory?  I thought so.



BRAVES:  Albuquerque Isotopes   

Team chemistry has always been a mainstay of the Braves.  Very little turn over for this group of sluggers.



COLT 45's: Richmond Flying Squirrels 

Is there an animal that better exemplifies TT?



CUBS:  Cedar Rapids Kernels

Down-home, corn-fed fellas



DODGERS:  New Jersey Jackals 

They're rabid.  They want to eat you by 16 runs each game.



EXPOS:  Traverse City Beach Bums 

The ultimate laid back squad.  If they were any more laid back, they'd be horizontal.



GIANTS:  Gary SouthShore RailCats 

Sometimes, during games, the Giants look as menacing as their mascot.  They seem like they would like to be swinging steel tracks at your ass.



INDIANS:  Lansing Lugnuts 

What an amalgamation of dudes' dudes (this is in no way a CJ IQ joke...in no way).



MARLINS:  Greensboro Grasshoppers

This young squad took on the grasshopper role and has learned the ins and outs of non-newb WB.    



METS:  West Michigan White Caps 

Just like large bodies of water that rhythmically hit you with waves, the Mets rhythmically pound you with, 'meet the Mets, meet the Mets...'  Aaahhhhh!



ORIOLES:  Las Vegas 51's   

I know about as much about these guys as I do about Area 51.  Cinches it for me.



PHILLIES:  Asheville Tourists

The Phils could shtick the hell out of tourism.  Mound buckets of WB's may no longer be necessary - Think, fanny packs. 



PIRATES:  Inland Empire 66ers of San Bernardino

Long on name and shtick - ringer for Ten and the boys.



REDS:  Jupiter Hammerheads 

They intrigue many, but few endeavor to swim with them (except for the Kid – he's a badass).  Could be the bubblegum pop music blaring during their games.



RED SOX:  Tulsa Drillers

Doesn't this just scream the Man?  I think he refers to himself more as 'the driller' than as Rian.




TWINS:  Southern Maryland Blue Crabs

No doubt, there has been at least one case of crabs on this team.  Not to mention, K-Mart is a menacing pincer.                  



WHITE SOX:  Modesto Nuts

Is there a sane member?



YANKEES:  Mesa Solar Sox

Anyone who purposely chooses the Yankees earns a soft logo.


Posted in: HRL

Post Rating


# Sanchez
Tuesday, April 20, 2010 8:37 AM
Solid. Pure and simply solid. If this ever come to fruition I can't wait to join the Blue Jays / Airhogs.
# Kmart
Tuesday, April 20, 2010 9:41 AM
Nice work Nine. Very enjoyable read. I hate to be a boner but you listed a couple Independent league teams that aren't technically minor league teams. Nevertheless, this was awesome!
# deesnider
Tuesday, April 20, 2010 12:39 PM
Top Ten! Top Nine!
# Dutch
Wednesday, April 21, 2010 2:16 PM
The .45s are more than just TT. Not much more, but a little bit.

While all teams stride to be affiliated with, no team can come close to living up to: Macon Whoopie.

# Truck
Saturday, April 24, 2010 1:33 PM
Top Nine inDEEd!!
Monday, May 3, 2010 1:25 PM
Nine, Where'd the creative juice come from? Oh, now I remember.
# Stunned
Friday, May 14, 2010 9:28 PM
Since when did nine write articles. My how things change.

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