[ed. note] The following is a collection of material The Steve has submitted over the last couple weeks/months. We were originally waiting for another piece to come in, but decided, ahh, fickity! We'll just go ahead and post what we've got! So if it seems like this is alot of random blurbs, it's cause it IS!
I sit here miles away from where you are and read Jim's predictions for the end of the year awards. Now, thinking to myself, how can you have awards without a Golden Blumpkin prediction??? For those of you who do not know what the Golden Blumpkin Award is I will tell you. This is a time-honored award given out each year to (all in good fun) the worst player in the league. This has been a tradition every year since 2000. The award (given annually by yours truly) has been given out 4 times to the following people:
2000: Mark "Spleen" Gregory
2001: Dave "Colon" Gregory
2002: Andy "Slim" Prince
2003: Dave "Colon" Gregory
Now this is a great honor. Past recipients like The Spleen have gone on to be in the semi finals and play very well. Some like his ass brother Colon have gone on to suck a whole lot more. So do not feel so bad if this Sultan of Suck decides that you could be the next suck ass for a year. Hell what is the worst that happens anyway-- you at least win an award. So if your stats are down and you can't seem to turn them around just remember, I am watching and yes, one of you will end being Mr. Unreliable. But for now enjoy your wiffles and keep playing hard, cause sooner or later I will say "YOU SUCK" and that will be that. From "The Steve" in HRL Massachusetts I'll see you next time.
Questions comments or possible golden blumpkin choices give me an email email@example.com
Your info is always appreciated.
Hello all, and welcome to "THE STEVE SHOW" as always I am the host with the most "THE STEVE"...
This week we'll dip into the long awaited and ever filling fan mail bag. For those of you who do not know about the fan mail bag I am sure you get it… Anyway this week's letter comes from Johnny, age 13 of Old Town, Maine.
Dear Mr. "THE STEVE",
I have been reading your work for a long time and following your career and wanted to ask you a few questions. First of all how different is it writing for a website that is so far away from you?
I hope you read this its always been my dream to be on "Fan Mail". My second question is how hard is it to be such a great hitter and suck so bad at pitching? It's hard to idolize you when you still have not won a championship. And my last question for you is this: if you were to give a young wiffler advice about wiffleball what would it be ?
Thanks "THE STEVE"! And try to win a championship soon. I'm sick of being laughed at for following your seasons.
Johnny, let me start with your first question and work from there…first of all it is not that difficult to write for this website. It is the same concept as before: People play wiffleball, I write about wiffleball.. (moron)
I am glad we made your dreams come true.
Well lets see, you little bastard. I would have to say that I do not suck at pitching cause I did lead the league in wins last year with a 12-7 season so stick that up your ass but, yes I have not won a championship yet but I will someday.
I would have to say get all your friends together and gather anyone you can and start a league. Wiffleball is made for people of all ages. Enjoy it and live it up while you can cause you never know when you might regret not playing the game so many of us love.
Well, thank you johnny (you asshole) I hope you strike out a thousand times and never win a game.
Just make sure you're playing. That's what's really important.
Well that was a nice letter I hope you all enjoyed that I know I do always love to hear from my fans…
Here's more mail!
"Dear The Steve,
What makes the HRL TC so different from the original HRL? Do you think they'll make it past the first year? What are your opinions on the new league?"
Well Kevin, let me start with your first question…. I would have to say it is different in many ways... although it is the same also. Let me explain. The HRL and HRLTC run very much the same in that the rules are structured the same but they are different by the fact they go by a very unique and different style. First off the HRLTC runs in teams where the HRL East has individuals as their own teams. Second, they just use plain yellow bats which means they play wiffleball in the most purest form... the way it should be. Now your next question. I believe that with the huge turnout that this first year has produced I wouldn't see why they would not only make it past the first year but be around for a long time to come. And finally last but not least your last question. My opinion of this new league that bears the HRL name... Well would say from what I have seen and read that it is a very fun and a great league to play in. I myself wish I could be a part of it. I play for the original HRL here in Massachusetts but would love to come and join out there with the amount of good times I hear about and fun. I don't know who wouldn't want to play for the league.
I hope that helps you out a little bit thank you for you mail and keep it coming.
Our next letter is a short one but never to short to be answered so here we go….
This letter comes form one of your own….. Peeks writes:
"What sausage do you believe has the most relevance as the official sausage of the HRL? Be frank (no pun intended) and specific please."
Well Peeks, I would have to say that being a sausage lover takes a lot but to answer your question... I think the best answer here is that you can't discriminate. The official sausage can't just be one sausage it should be links of all kinds. I mean after all, there are no individuals out here and definitely no I in team… so Team Sausage we salute you… Italian, Polish, and all others in between..
Well folks that ends this segment of "The Steve Show" and remember no question is to short to be answered or to long to be read. Keep them coming. Steveoadams1@aol.com. For "The Steve Show" I am "The Steve" see you next time….
Adam "The Steve" Sears is an HRL:TC writer as well as a player for the HRL in Massachusetts. The Steve was a longtime writer for the HRL website from 2000-2003. Comments or questions can be addressed to The Steve at the Message Board, or by emailing him at firstname.lastname@example.org.