The No. 1 overall pick in 2011 by the A's, managed by Toonces, recruited from the Crystal Fall league in the prior year by New Guy. After 2 seasons with the A's, plagued by poor attendance and countless losses, Cobra retired from the game to pursue personal goals of grilling meat and drinking beer. Having achieved those goals, Cobra rejoined the league in 2015 as a deep substitute with the Kardinals, expecting much of the same unreliability in the attendance department that has made him famous.
Cobra lives with his dead-beat brother in Crystal, and works as an accountant in NE Minneapolis. He plays Amateur baseball, taking up a great deal of his time on top of the wiffle league. As a result, he rarely has time to do chores, so if you smell something odd it's probably Cobra's unclean clothes. During his missed time in the league, he set new personal bests in meats grilled and beers consumed.
Honors & Awards
Worst Teammate Award - 2012